Once again i have been conned by a smiling young lady .Well not exactly conned as she works for the RSPCA ,trying to raise funds and one could see from her delivery that she had been on some sort of course designed to persuade the softheaded .The smile was so obviously manufactured and was accompanied by very contracted pupils, which are the true message conveyors, but i was sort of beguiled .Her smile has cost me £120 for the year but i have to believe its a good cause and the fact i like cats and dogs ,rather speaks for itself .Still her manufactured smile bothered me and like the greasy salesman from the used car garage, she delivered her patter with relentless conviction.Because her delivery was so obviously manufactured I wanted to get rid of her but at the same time the same smile had me trapped so I went along with her objective, besides I like pets.Nell never seems to be around when i need her and that smile was doing my head in
I felt inclined to take the mickey but she was a Swede and i do have sympathy for foreign nationals trying to earn a buck in this country., so instead, I told her about the Normans because we live in Normandy lane.Was she interested ?I doubt it. She has an English beau so I suggested she ask him who they were ,like descended from Vikings i.e. fellow Swedes.Beau, though, is a business analyst so small historical facts are hardly likely to be of interest to him.Then I showed her are our garden but her reactions was, shall we say, rather brief i.e. "yes very nice".

I can just sense my dear wife doing her nut but this Swede had RSPCA printed on her in big letters plus she had a card and the resulting paperwork is obviously genuine , so no fear of a con but i feel conned nonetheless.Why??? Maybe its because I like to make my own choices without feeling pressured in anyway.I like to feel the power is with me and I have not been coerced .These charities are clever because they play on your conscience and give you no opportunity to give things another thought .Time is not on your side ,you decide there and then and smiling Swede knows how to play the game to a T.
I decided to take things to the more inane and away from the business end . Why, I asked her, did she die her hair auburn if she is a natural blonde.?It made no sense.I mean Swede = blonde, right? Or am i stereotyping?
Anyway i found it difficult to indulge in small talk other than 'are you living here because the beer is a lot cheaper?' "No my boyfriend is English", was her curt reply.She does curt very well and always with that smile.Small talk wasnt exactly brill on my side either.She asked politely ,as one would expect from a disinterested salesperson-"what are you doing this weekend?"
'Err ,working all day tomorrow and sunday my wife and I will decide.No we are not going to any rip roaring club and will probably sit in our garden supping a few vinos. Are you really that interested or am i being neurotically defensive?' Maybe I should have said we would be going to a transvestites annual jamboree where Nell and I would be switching roles, but somehow I didnt feel she would be shocked .

Her smile was like a weapon designed to beguile but her eyes wore a steady determination which seemed to run counter to her smile.